Playful wedding vows for a partner at a courthouse ceremony

I promise to keep stealing the last bite of your food, because honestly, you always order the better thing and I have no regrets about this arrangement.

I vow to never let you live down the time you tried to impress me by cooking dinner and set off every smoke alarm in the building. I'm bringing it up at every anniversary. It's tradition now.

I promise to be the one who remembers where we parked, since we both know your system of 'I'll remember the general area' has never once worked.

I vow to love you even when you insist on watching true crime documentaries right before bed, and then spend twenty minutes checking that all the doors are locked.

Today, in this courthouse with the fluorescent lighting and the plastic chairs, I'm choosing you. Not because it's fancy, but because you make everywhere feel like exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I promise to keep ordering the better thing so you can have the last bite, because watching you pretend you don't want it and then cave immediately is one of my favorite parts of any meal.

I vow to remind you that the smoke alarm incident was your fault for distracting me with terrible jokes while I was trying to concentrate. The record will show I was sabotaged.

I promise to navigate our entire life together, since you have the directional sense of a confused pigeon and I've accepted this about you.

I vow to protect us from fictional murderers with my documentary research, and you're welcome for the door-checking service I provide free of charge.

Today, in this wonderfully unromantic government building, I'm choosing you back. Not because of the aesthetics, but because you've made every ordinary moment of my life feel like an adventure worth taking.