Funny wedding vows for a wife at a courthouse ceremony

I promise to love you as much as I loved you in that courthouse line, sweating through my one good shirt, clutching a number ticket like it was a lottery win.

I vow to always let you pick the restaurant after events like this, because you were the one who found the parking spot, the pen that worked, and the will to not strangle the guy who cut in line.

I promise to laugh with you, not just at you, even though the laughing-at-you window is wide open after you called the notary 'the vow guy' to his face.

I will split the chores fairly, except for the DMV-adjacent errands, which are now yours forever, on account of your superior bureaucracy stamina.

I promise to keep choosing you, in sickness, in health, and in soul-crushing municipal waiting rooms with fluorescent lighting that makes us both look like tired raccoons.

Today, in front of this official and a water cooler, I make it legal: I'm yours, paperwork and all.

I promise to love you as much as I loved you in that courthouse line, fanning yourself with the forms, insisting we were 'basically at a spa' because there was a vending machine.

I vow to always double-check the directions myself from now on, since someone got us to the wrong building and then blamed 'the universe's bad signage.'

I promise to never let you live down that you cried a little when the clerk said 'congratulations,' and then tried to claim it was allergies to government carpet.

I will handle all future paperwork emergencies, because you've proven you panic-buy snacks instead of filling out forms, and honestly, I respect the commitment to priorities.

I promise to keep choosing you, in sickness, in health, and in any line, anywhere, for anything, as long as you keep making me laugh harder than a civil servant should legally allow.

Today, with a stranger's stamp and a slightly crooked picture frame as witnesses, I make it official: I'm yours, forms and all.