Funny wedding vows for a wife at a courthouse ceremony

I promise to love you even though you insisted we could 'just wing it' at the DMV last month, which resulted in three separate trips and me discovering new levels of bureaucratic despair. So really, choosing this courthouse for our wedding feels very on-brand for us.

I vow to always be the one who remembers where we parked, since that day at the mall when we wandered for forty-five minutes and you kept insisting 'it was definitely near the lamp post' — there were sixty-seven lamp posts.

I promise to laugh at your jokes, especially the one about the chicken and the lawyer that you told the clerk five minutes ago, even when you inevitably tell it at every dinner party for the next forty years.

I vow to split the last slice of pizza with you, to never judge your true crime documentary obsession too harshly, and to love you fiercely through every mundane, beautiful, occasionally absurd moment of our lives together.

Today, in this fluorescent-lit room with the slightly flickering overhead light, I choose you forever. No flowers, no fuss, just us — and honestly, that's exactly perfect.

I promise to love you even though you've never once let me live down the DMV incident, and you've somehow turned my optimistic spirit into a running joke about my navigation skills. For the record, we could have winged it if you'd just trusted me.

I vow to continue pretending I don't know exactly where the car is parked while you panic-search, because watching you speed-walk past it twice before I gently point it out has become one of my favorite hobbies. I married you for your confidence, not your directional sense.

I promise to keep telling the chicken-and-lawyer joke specifically because it made you snort-laugh the first time I told it, and I've been chasing that sound ever since. The clerk's polite smile today was just a bonus.

I vow to always save you the last slice of pizza, to tolerate your insistence that we 'don't need a map,' and to love you through every eye-roll, every adventure, every perfectly imperfect day we build together.

Here, in this no-frills courthouse with questionable lighting and a faint smell of copy toner, I marry my best friend. No elaborate production necessary — just you, me, and a lifetime of inside jokes ahead.