Funny wedding vows for a wife at a church ceremony

Standing here under these stained-glass windows, I promise to stop asking 'is this the good towel' and just accept that all towels are apparently sacred in this house.

I vow to remember our first apartment, the night the power went out and you lit twelve candles 'for ambiance' while I just wanted to find my phone charger in the dark.

I promise to laugh at your jokes even the second time you tell them, and to never, ever reveal how long it actually took you to parallel park on our third date.

Before God, this priest, and your Aunt Carol who is definitely judging my tie, I promise to split the blanket fairly — which means you win, every night, forever.

I promise to be the guy who still gets nervous when you walk into a room, even after you've seen me try to assemble furniture.

So here, in front of everyone who said we'd never make it past the second date, I choose you — chaos, candles, and all.

Standing here in a dress I definitely spent too long picking, I promise to let you believe you're 'handy' even though I rewired that lamp myself.

I vow to remember our first apartment, the night the power went out and you spent twenty minutes insisting you 'knew exactly where the flashlight was.'

I promise to pretend I've never heard your parallel parking story, even though you've told it at every single family dinner since.

Before God, this church, and my Aunt Carol who is absolutely judging your tie, I promise to share the blanket — generously, by taking ninety percent and calling it compromise.

I promise to keep being the reason you get nervous walking into rooms, and to never let you forget that I married you anyway, furniture disasters and all.

So here, in front of everyone who placed bets on us, I choose you too — flashlights, blankets, and all the beautiful chaos that comes next.