Funny wedding vows for a spouse at a vineyard wedding

I promise to love you even when you insist on swirling grocery store wine like it's a 1947 Bordeaux. I will nod seriously when you detect 'notes of blackberry' in our $12 bottle, and I will never, ever mention that you once described a Pinot Noir as 'grape-flavored.'

I vow to be your designated driver on all future wine-tasting adventures, even though we both know that after three sips you start rating wines based on how cute their labels are. Your system is flawless, and I will defend it to sommeliers everywhere.

I promise to grow old with you like a fine wine—which is to say, slowly, in a dark place, occasionally on our side. I'll age with you through all the vintages of our life: the crisp years, the full-bodied years, and eventually the years where we're both a little corked but still worth keeping around.

On that night we got lost in the vineyard after closing time and had to climb a fence in our nice clothes, you laughed so hard you snorted. That's when I knew. I vow to keep making you laugh like that, to keep getting us into minor trouble, and to always help you over whatever fence comes next.

I promise to love you even though you can't tell the difference between Merlot and Malbec, and once asked a winemaker if they made 'the red kind.' Your confidence in the face of wine snobbery is inspiring, and I will never let you order alone at fancy restaurants.

I vow to let you believe you're a wine expert after watching one documentary. Yes, dear, terroir is very important. Yes, you can absolutely taste the limestone. I will support all your wine opinions, even the objectively wrong ones, because that's what marriage is.

I promise to ferment alongside you—to let our love breathe, to decant our problems before they get bitter, and to remember that the best pairings aren't always the obvious ones. You're my unexpected vintage, the one I didn't know I was looking for but can't imagine living without.

That night we got stuck in the vineyard and you boosted me over the fence first, then got your jacket caught on the wire and just hung there laughing—that moment is why I'm here. I vow to always go first when you ask, to untangle you from whatever snags you, and to never stop finding joy in our ridiculous adventures together.