Funny wedding vows for a spouse at a courthouse ceremony

I vow to love you even though you insisted we could 'just figure out' the parking situation downtown, which is why we're ten minutes late to our own wedding and the judge definitely saw us sprinting past her window.

I promise to always laugh at the fact that we're getting married in the same building where you once contested a parking ticket. You lost that argument too, but today we both win.

I vow to remember that Tuesday morning when we filled out the marriage application online and you asked if 'professional napper' counted as an occupation. The clerk said no, but I say it's your greatest talent and I'm honored to witness it for life.

I promise to be your partner in all things—the romantic, the mundane, and the ridiculous. I'll hold your hand through tax season, home repairs, and whatever else requires us to take a number and wait.

I vow to love you with the same certainty I felt when you said 'let's skip the big wedding and just do this.' You've always known exactly who we are, and I can't wait to be officially, legally, bureaucratically yours.

I vow to love you even though you made us late by insisting on bringing a 'special pen' for signing the certificate. It's a ballpoint from a hotel in Newark. The judge is using the same one from her desk, and it's fine.

I promise to never let you forget that we're getting married in a building with fluorescent lighting and a metal detector, and that somehow you still look at me like we're in a fairy tale. That's the kind of delusion I want forever.

I vow to remember that Tuesday morning when we filled out the marriage application and you took a full fifteen minutes debating your answer to 'number of previous marriages' because you wanted to make sure your annulled thing from college 'really counted.' I loved you even through that unnecessary spiral.

I promise to be your co-conspirator in building a life that makes sense to us and no one else. I'll be there for every adventure, every boring errand, and every moment we have to take a number and wait together.

I vow to choose you every day with the same confidence I felt when you suggested we skip the stress and just come here. You've always seen through the noise to what matters, and I'm so ready to be legally, officially, permanently yours.