Funny wedding vows for a spouse at a courthouse ceremony

I promise to love you the way I loved our spot in that courthouse hallway line, patiently, and mostly without checking my phone.

Remember when we filled out that marriage license form and you spelled your own middle name wrong? I promise to double-check your paperwork and your life decisions for the rest of our days.

I vow to split the difference between your 'five more minutes' and my 'we are already late,' the same way we somehow made it to this courthouse with four minutes to spare.

I promise to laugh at your jokes even after I've heard them nine hundred times, the way I laughed when you told the security guard we were 'just friends, for now' right before our ceremony.

I promise to hold your hand through every DMV-style line life throws at us, because you make even fluorescent lighting look good.

Today, in front of a judge who has definitely seen weirder, I choose you. Again and again, forms and all.

I promise to love you the way you loved correcting my 'just friends, for now' joke in that courthouse hallway, immediately, and a little too loudly.

Remember when I misspelled my own middle name on the license? I promise to let you proofread my life from now on, typos included.

I vow to meet your punctuality halfway, which today meant sprinting across a parking lot in shoes that were not made for sprinting, just to make our four-minute window.

I promise to tell the same stories at every party for the next fifty years, starting with the one about the security guard, because your laugh is still my favorite sound in any waiting room.

I promise to be your line partner for every bureaucratic nightmare ahead, because somehow you make a numbered ticket feel like a love letter.

Today, in this unglamorous, fluorescent-lit, utterly perfect room, I choose you. Forms, fees, and all.