Funny wedding vows for a spouse at a beach ceremony

I promise to always reapply your sunscreen, even when you insist you're 'fine' and then spend the next three days looking like a lobster. I've learned this lesson exactly seven times, and I'm committed to learning it at least seven hundred more.

I vow to never complain about sand in our bed, our car, our kitchen, or mysteriously in our winter coats six months from now. You are part mermaid, and sand is apparently your glitter. I accept this.

I promise to keep pretending that your 'navigational instincts' are leading us the right way on beach walks, even when we end up at the same jetty for the third time. Your confidence is adorable, and eventually we do find our way back.

I vow to love you through every terrible beach photo where the wind makes us look deranged, through every failed attempt at building a sandcastle that looks more like a sand lump, and through every wave that sneaks up and soaks us while we're trying to look romantic.

Most importantly, I promise that no matter how many beaches we visit, how many tides come in and out, you will always be my favorite reason to shake sand out of everything I own. Forever and always.

I promise to stop saying 'I don't need sunscreen' and then acting shocked when I turn red. You've been right every single time, and I vow to finally start listening—or at least to stop complaining when you chase me down with SPF 50.

I vow to acknowledge that yes, I do track sand everywhere, and yes, it defies the laws of physics how it gets into sealed containers. I promise to at least shake out the beach bag before bringing it inside. At least sometimes.

I promise to admit when I have no idea which direction the car is, instead of leading us on 'scenic routes' that loop back to where we started. Your patient following of my confident wrong turns is true love, and I see that now.

I vow to stop insisting we can outrun the waves while taking photos, and to accept that we will always have at least twelve pictures where we look windswept and slightly panicked. These will be our most treasured memories.

Most importantly, I promise that through every sunset walk, every salt-sticky kiss, and every time we find sand in impossible places three months later, I will love you more than the ocean is wide. Which is really saying something, because we're standing right next to it.