Funny wedding vows for a spouse at a backyard ceremony

I promise to love you even when you insist on mowing the lawn in a pattern that makes our backyard look like a questionable crop circle. I will defend your artistic vision to the neighbors, or at least pretend I don't know you.

I vow to always let you have the last slice of pizza, except when I really want it, in which case I promise to engage in fair and honorable rock-paper-scissors combat. Best two out of three.

I promise to remember that the great sprinkler incident of last summer was technically my fault, even though you were the one who said 'it'll be fine.' I will never bring it up during arguments, except maybe once a year for comedic purposes.

I vow to be your partner in all things: in building the life we dream of, in fixing the fence we keep meaning to fix, and in pretending we totally meant for this backyard wedding to be this casual all along.

I promise to love you forever, through every season, every home improvement project, and every time we have to chase the dog through the tomato plants. You're my favorite person to do this beautifully messy life with.

I promise to love you even when you claim my lawn mowing is 'abstract art.' I will continue to mow in my signature style, and I will only occasionally remind you that at least I'm the one actually mowing.

I vow to graciously accept your rock-paper-scissors challenges, and to never, ever mention that I've won the last seven pizza battles in a row. I will be humble in victory and generous with the garlic knots.

I promise to acknowledge that yes, the great sprinkler incident was a team effort, and that 'it'll be fine' are three words we should probably use more carefully. I will also never let you forget that you're the one who turned on the water.

I vow to be your partner in all things: in growing old together, in finally finishing that fence, and in laughing about how we pulled off a backyard wedding that everyone will remember, for better or worse.

I promise to love you forever, through every adventure, every ridiculous decision we make together, and every moment in this yard that's become the backdrop of our greatest story. You're my home, wherever we are.