Funny wedding vows for a partner at a courthouse ceremony

I promise to love you even when you insist the GPS is wrong and we should 'just turn here,' a confidence I've admired since that time we ended up at a livestock auction instead of the outlet mall.

I vow to let you control the thermostat at least 40% of the time, which is a better deal than the Treaty of Versailles and proof that I've learned compromise.

I promise to laugh at your jokes, especially the ones you've told me seventeen times, because your commitment to your material is honestly inspiring.

I vow to be your partner in all things: joint bank accounts, shared streaming passwords, and pretending we both contributed equally when one of us does something impressive.

Today, in this fluorescent-lit room with questionable carpet, I choose you forever, which is the easiest decision I've ever made that didn't involve cheese.

I promise to love you even when you refuse to ask for directions, a stubbornness I actually respect since that time your 'shortcut' gave us the best story we tell at parties.

I vow to stop touching the thermostat when you're not looking, or at least to do it less obviously, because apparently I have 'tells' and you've learned them all.

I promise to keep telling you my jokes even though you've heard them all before, because you still smile at the punchlines and that's basically marriage in a nutshell.

I vow to be your teammate in everything: splitting chores, sharing credit, and backing you up when you wildly exaggerate your role in our accomplishments to your family.

Today, in this remarkably efficient municipal building, I'm choosing forever with you, which is the smartest thing I've done since agreeing to that livestock auction detour.