Funny wedding vows for a husband at a courthouse ceremony

I promise to love you even though you made me wait forty-five minutes in that courthouse hallway with the world's worst vending machine, and I only had enough change for pretzels.

I vow to keep pretending I understand your filing system for important documents, even though 'important documents' apparently means 'random drawer in the kitchen.'

Remember the night the power went out and you tried to propose a second time by phone flashlight because you said the first time 'didn't feel official enough'? I vow to never let you forget how extra that was.

I promise to always let you win at board games just enough to keep things peaceful, but never enough that you get cocky.

I vow to split the blanket fairly, except on nights you snore, in which case all bets are off.

Today, in this slightly fluorescent, deeply unromantic building, I choose you — forever, and also for the ride home, because you drove.

I promise to love you even though you spent our entire courthouse wait rehearsing vows out loud while strangers stared, like we were auditioning for a legal drama.

I vow to keep humoring your 'organizational system,' even though I now know it means hiding bills under the fruit bowl.

That night the power went out, you proposed again by flashlight like the first time hadn't counted — I vow to remind you of that dramatic reboot at every anniversary, probably loudly.

I promise to let you believe you're winning at board games, mostly because your victory dance is the best free entertainment I have.

I vow to fight you for blanket real estate every night, snoring or not, because peace is overrated and warmth is not.

Today, in this room that smells faintly of old paperwork and new beginnings, I choose you — forever, and for every ride home, especially the ones where you insist on 'just one more errand.'