Funny wedding vows for a husband at a backyard ceremony

I promise to love you even though you insisted on a string-light display so ambitious the fire department sent a 'just checking' car past the house twice.

I promise that when the extension cord trips you mid-vow rehearsal, as it famously did last Tuesday in front of the garden gnomes, I will help you up and only laugh a normal, loving amount.

I vow to keep pretending your grilling technique is 'rustic' and not 'concerning,' and to always have the fire extinguisher exactly where you left it.

I promise to split every lawn chair, every burnt burger, and every ridiculous lawn-mowing playlist with you, fifty-fifty, forever.

And I promise that no matter how many raccoons try to crash our backyard, I will stand here in this grass, choosing you, happily, messily, on purpose.

I promise to love you even though you narrated the string-light installation like a true-crime documentary and still tripped the extension cord yourself.

I vow that when you go down mid-rehearsal in front of the gnomes, I will help you up, document it for the group chat, and love you through the humiliation.

I promise to never once admit the burgers are concerning, to defend your grilling honor to all skeptical neighbors, and to man the fire extinguisher with quiet pride.

I promise to match your chaos with my own — same lawn chairs, same playlist, same backyard, no refunds.

And I promise that raccoons, extension cords, and burnt burgers aside, this patchy grass is exactly where I want to stand and marry you.